Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
