What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize