standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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