We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
