We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this boner is exhausting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
