Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
