Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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