Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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