i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
