i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
