i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
