doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
