u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
wow bdsm is so cute
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
