Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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