It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
