Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
