Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
