can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
