I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
