this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
