Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
