You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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