so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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