I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
