ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
