So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize