Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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