Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
