It's like God shit irony all over that family
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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