i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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