Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
