is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
