I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
