How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
