I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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