New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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