I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
