Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
