Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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