I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
