Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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