it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
