i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize