I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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