I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's how pantless uber rides happen
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
