we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
