i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
