The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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