I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
