D3 body, D1 cock
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
