We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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