He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
