dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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