I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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