dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
