I'm really into asian looking animals
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
