Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
