walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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