I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
