Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize