That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize