Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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