If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
