I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
