dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All the doctor said was why
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize