ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm always down for nudity.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
