Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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